This is not why I married my husband, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t make me feel like a rock star. Champagne, a sweet note, and a fund for new summer clothes for my new job.
I can’t wait to see what he does for finishing my Master’s degree.
[only 4 more months!]
The following is a section taken from a recent paper I wrote. Considering the nature of the topic, I felt that it would make an interesting blog post as well. Enjoy.
At the beginning of the 2012-2013 school year I thought of myself as a person with a strong understanding of the human condition. I felt simultaneously brash in my abilities and fearful of being proven wrong. That being said, one of the largest areas of growth I have personally encountered is the gained knowledge that, while I do have a respectable understanding of some aspects of the human condition, I have so much more to learn in so many areas. Whereby I thought that I only lacked the academic knowledge base needed in the helping profession, I have come to know that the experience required to be an effective counselor cannot be discounted and comes only in the actual doing of the work and being surrounded by the field. I am extremely grateful that I am gaining this experience at MSPP and with the people I am surrounded by.
Another skillset that I have experienced, exponential, growth in, is my ability to work and succeed in a professional environment. As a function of the multiple programs that I am fortunate to be able to be a part of at MSPP I am developing the interpersonal skills needed to compete in the modern academic and professional fields. My involvement in Train Vets to Treat Vets has helped me develop competency in the areas of outreach and advocacy. Participation in the Student Coordinating Committee has taught me how to work within the differing levels of an organization; while also showing me how to remain tactful and respectful while still accurately and effectively expressing the concerns of the people I am representing.
Today, I accepted a job offer.
It’s in a far away state, in a city that my husband and I have never even visited, but we’re excited beyond belief. When the dust has settled a bit and detail are in order, I’ll share the details, but for now, we’re just daydreaming of this grand adventure.
And I’m remembering to stay thankful for the path that led me to MSPP and my Master’s program that got these employers to consider my resume, consider me, and then in the end, offer me a job. I have so much for which to be thankful.
I’ve been feeling a little brittle lately. Overall, things are good. But it feels as though the bad news has been stacking up- things that, on their own, can be taken in stride but when piled together seem to generate a mire of thick, taffy like substance that is constantly threatening to trip me up.
My classes are coming to an end (already!) and with that comes the inevitability of final exams and projects. This year, it is coupled with the sad knowledge that my time of living and breathing together with my cohort is coming to a close: we will only meet for class about once a month next year, a far cry from the 12+ hours a week we’ve had this year. For myself, I am also keenly aware that this summer will herald the beginning of my doctoral pursuits as I take 3 classes, venturing in to the intimidating unknown.
My pup has been suffering through her kneecap popping out of place almost daily: a consult with a veterinary surgeon has confirmed a congenital defect that will be corrected via a surgery taking place on Wednesday. While her recovery should take place within the next month, I am quietly panicking about the great changes that will take place in that time span. She can no longer recline on the back of the couch, must go back to being crated when my husband and I are not home, and cannot run with the boundless exuberance that comes with her daily tear around the yard. I will have to be on my game, thinking ahead, and keeping my normally trustworthy dog on a tight leash to prevent any sudden movements while she is recovering.
During this time home renovation projects are moving forward, for both myself and for my husband’s family. Their family home was one of the many affected by Hurricane Sandy. Sleeves have been rolled up, FEMA rolled through and out, and it’s time for all hands on deck to begin the restoration process. And I feel as though I cannot commit, or let my husband commit, to the project until I know how my dog is doing. And I feel like the bad guy for holding out on a project that I want to support.
Largest on my mind, however, is the unwelcome fact that good health is a fragile thing. Aside from my own (non-life threatening) irritating chronic condition, there has been a recent awareness that the generation of my parents is beginning to fail, to succumb to a myriad of cancers and sudden deaths. A recent rash of appointments has not yielded good news for many families I hold near and dear.
That all being said, my mind has every right to be in a fragile state. Self care has been exceptionally important over this past month, moreso than I can ever remember it being before. I have a wonderful husband whose hugs and cooking skills have a miraculous way of making me smile, my shoulders relaxing from the tension that builds on a daily basis. My dog’s lopsided smiles and exuberant tail can always get me to stop and take a deep breath. My cohort’s study sessions get me through my academics, and friends keep me immersed in the activities I love.
This, however, got me to full out laugh until tears glistened in the corner of my eyes and my breath came in ragged spurts. And everyone could use a laugh like that, stressed or otherwise. Enjoy
Erika, Emily, Dana, and me at the “after party” for MMRP. 
On Thursday, MSPP held its performance of Eve Ensler’s A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer, an event that I co-directed with my friend Erika. In some ways, I am glad that the event is over as it was a lot to take on (and as I no longer have to daily spell out the super long, comma-filled title of “A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer”). But I will miss being a part of this small group and endeavor that inspired me so much.
Given that I was co-running MMRP (yay acronyms), I sometimes was more consumed with managing the details and technicalities of the event (i.e. running auditions and rehearsals; figuring out AV and food stuff; contacting potential donors and collecting donations for the silent auction; etc) than thinking about and celebrating the event’s empowerment-themed message. But Thursday finally came, and after a day of running around ragged – setting up the donated gifts for the auction, arranging chairs, printing out signs – the performance finally began. With no more responsibilities left, I felt like I could finally hear and listen to the words of the monologues: with every punch…; another self that floated above me…; to the graveyard by the river, I chose freedom…; over it…; it could have been anywhere…; one in three women…; etc. etc. etc. The words hit me hard, and I often found myself tearing up; looking into the audience, I saw that others were getting a lil’ verklempt as well. As somber as some of the pieces were, they were poignant, and I felt empowered by the fact that the woman’s voice was not just speaking – it was being heard. Nine of us spoke, and the audience, which was comprised of about 50 people, listened. I hope that that those audience members will now use their own voice to pass on the message of MMRP to others, so that the One Billion Rising movement can continue to spread.
I am so glad that MSPP had this opportunity to experience A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer and I especially appreciate the opportunity to have been a part of this event and overall movement. For all those who are interested, I recommend that you check out V-Day events in your area and become a part of this movement as well. xoxo.
In our Groups Theory & Process class last week, our professor reminded us of the importance of making mistakes. If we aren’t making mistakes, we are not challenging ourselves, and we are not learning. And, we are role models for our students, and part of life is messing up – and trying again. Schools often (perhaps subtly) foster an environment where making an error is frowned upon or to be avoided at all costs.
Students who speak up in class, and are wrong all too frequently feel dumb, stop raising their hands, or cease taking risks. I was a quiet student – more inclined to sit quietly unless I was completely sure of an answer – shying away from potential mistakes made in front of peers. I now tend to take the opposite stance – and sometimes I’m wrong.
I am certainly not perfect – or close to it. Nobody is. That’s just how life is. And we can help remind students of this important lesson. Mess up! Make a mistake! Try again! And again! And again…..
As I was rushing from my arrival gate to my departure gate on Tuesday, heading for a job interview in another state, I had my first moment of “I’m a professional right now”.
I looked around and saw myself in the herd of business suits, traveling with only carry-on luggage to a meeting that they’d fly back from that very same night. Sitting on the plane, my seatmate struck up conversation, asking where I was heading. For the first time in my life, I had the courage to explain that I was heading to an interview, finally being able to say “I work in Student Affairs”. In that moment, I felt was proud of myself. Proud of myself for being able to say that I am a professional, and a darn good one at that. Proud of myself for being confident in my knowledge of SA theories and topics and my ability to succeed in this type of role. When my interviewers asked me why I was the right person for this Residence Life job, I was confident that I had the experience and the knowledge to back up my passion for these students.
Coming into the Higher Ed program at MSPP, I thought this was the right track. I enjoyed my Student Development internship at my alma mater and figured that if I have to get a Masters degree, why not do it in something that seemed fun? But thanks to my time here, I know that this is the right track. I love what I’m learning. The professors make our courses thought-provoking and applicable to real life. My field project allows me to gain experience in a field that I love. Through everything I’m learning at MSPP, I’ve realized that Student Affairs, specifically Residence Life, is my passion. And for someone who didn’t think they’d ever find a job they cared about this much, I’m on top of the world with this realization. There’s this whole field that has such an ability to make an impact on students’ college experience and I can be part of it. I am part of it. For this, I will forever be thankful for my experience here at MSPP.
What a busy week! I’ve been working hard and playing hard and this past week has been no exception!
After work on Wednesday night, I went to MSPP for the Organizational and Leadership Psychology Spring Reception. We had a presentation from Becky Smith, an alum from the MAOP blended program, on leveraging relationships for career transition. As a recent grad looking to make that transition, I found it really helpful.
The number one lesson that I got from her presentation is: don’t be afraid of networking! Of course, Becky had a little more to say on it- like accepting that not every person you meet will be a useful connection or even someone that you really connect with. However, when you do make a meaningful connection with someone, it can really pay off! Becky also stressed the importance of being authentic and the simple act of treating people like humans, not as a step on your way to a job. Personally, I think that those are two things that make “networking” such a bad word. We think of those people just trying to shove cards into everyone’s pockets and trying to see how you can be useful to them. But it doesn’t have to be like that! Just getting to know someone and helping each other out when you can gets rid of that stigma and everyone wins in the end!
We also had really good round-table discussions after Becky’s presentation and it was nice to connect with my classmates, prospective students, other alumni, and faculty. In fact, I met one of my classmates in person for the first time ever that night! After the reception, a few of us went out and celebrated our completion of the MAOP program and talked about what we want to do going forward. It’s exciting to think that my classmates will soon become my colleagues working in the field.
I’m looking forward to putting Becky’s tips to use and making that happen!
Since the start of my academic career at MSPP, the support and encouragement from faculty has never faltered. Whenever there is confusion with an assignment ,or students are just feeling overwhelmed and need some time to debrief, the professors have always shown sensitivity and understanding. One of the biggest risks we take is showing vulnerability in our writing assignments where we reflect on our interactions with clients and explore our growing skills.
On a recent journal assignment, a lot of mixed feelings and emotions about myself and my work with clients was coming up. Two of my clients in particular had recently begun to introduce some more challenges aspects to our work together. Keeping in mind that this is my first year doing counseling directly with adults, I had become comfortable with the idea of a mixed caseload including both adults and kids at a future job site. When the more challenging areas arose, I found myself questioning my clinical intuition, thinking, “I never should have accepted these clients. Who thought I was skilled enough to meet their needs? Why am I their clinician?!”
I expressed these concerns and feelings in my journal assignment. I reflected on my skills and what felt like near unpreparedness for handling the intensity of certain issues. Termination processing, too, has been difficult. To write about these things in a class writing assignment felt like a huge risk because what if the professor determined that, in fact, I was unprepared. What if the professor evaluated my response to these clients as inappropriate or inadequate and it impacted my performance in the course or somehow raised concerns regarding my competency level as a clinician. Perhaps what stood out most in my mind was why now and why at the near end of my program am I stumbling?
Thankfully the professor thought none of those things. In fact, I received a helpful reminder that at the end of the day, the therapy belongs to the client, not the therapist. If they aren’t ready and wiling to take certain steps, it is not a reflection on who I am as a clinician. Now I can finish out the semester in confidence, knowing that there’s still a lot to learn but I am standing on pretty solid ground.
One aspect that really sets MSPP apart from other schools is the amount of effort the faculty put into their end-of-the-semester evaluations. At first, I was very frustrated by this process. Here we are at the end of March, and I still hadn’t received my “grades” from last semester. (Note- last semester, we were on a Credit/No Credit system, but this semester we changed to a mixed system, where some classes receive letter grades and others are still credit/no credit).
I was told by my professors to be patient, because these evaluations are “special” and “take a lot of thought and effort.” I thought to myself, “how hard is it to write “Satisfactory” on a piece of paper?!” Eventually, I stopped stressing over it and just continued on with the Spring semester. In fact, I had completely forgotten about the evaluations altogether.
This morning, I was surprised to find my completed evaluations as an attachment in my email. My “it’s-too-early-for-this” brain grumbled as I struggled to open the attachment through half-open eyelids. I squinted down the page from my bed and saw “Meets expected standard” written down the side of the page for each category. My “it’s still 6:00 in the morning” self was about to get very angry. Even though I was really not awake enough to get angry, I felt my blood rushing to my temples, my adrenaline rising, and my eyes opened wide. ”I waited three months for THIS?!” I thought. I kept scrolling grumpily through the “meets expected standard”s until I found a section at the bottom. This is where the professors write individual comments for each student. Because I was still not a happy camper to be awake and reading email that early, I cynically thought to myself, “well, this ought to be good.”
I was wrong. It was amazing. Each of my five professors had carefully written several paragraphs about my progress in the class, and my strengths and weaknesses. This was not the sixth-grade-style progress report I had expected by any means. There were details of my performance in the class that I had completely forgotten about. My professors’ reflections were all very honest, and there was no fluff. Everything written directly applied to me. What was listed as my strengths boosted my confidence, and my suggested areas of improvement were a subtle reminder that I am still in my first year of a doctoral program, and that I still have a lot to learn.
Maybe it was because it was so early in the morning, or maybe it was because I watched too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother last night, or maybe it’s just because I’m a sappy person, but for some reason, I was holding back tears reading some of my instructors’ comments. They were so honest and genuine; it made me remember why I came to MSPP in the first place. I wanted to be guided down this road by people with my professional and personal development at heart. I don’t think I could have found this level of individual attention and care at any other institution.
So thank you to each of my professors for paying such close attention to my personal strengths, weaknesses, and growth. All the time you spent writing your evaluations (even if it did take just a little too long) was greatly appreciated. I am going to sincerely enjoy continuing this journey with all of you.
